How to have an awesome family

FIGHTING FOR AN AWESOME FAMILY

Awesome Relationships – Part 2

Rick Warren

November 1-2, 2014

When the family of Israel was under attack the prohet Nehemiah (4:14) said:
"Do not be afraid. Remember the Lord Who is awesome, 

and fight for your brothers and sons and daughters, your wives and homes."

Your family is worth fighting for!

Don't give up.

It is not too late for success.

4 TRAITS OF AWESOME FAMILIES:

1. AWESOME FAMILIES ENJOY LIFE TOGETHER:

The wisest man that ever lived:
"Solomon": “I commend the enjoyment of life . . .” Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NIV)
Children develop as they play.  Play is important. God wants life to be enjoyed, not just endured.
God created everything in life for enjoyment.

“People ought to enjoy every day of their lives, no matter how long they
live.” Ecclesiastes 11:8a (NCV)

Because you do not know how long you will live, you should do all the living you can while you can. Enjoy life with your children, because they will not be with you forever.

Children need to know they are loved and that their family can have fun together.
People won't remember what you say, but they will always remember how you make them feel.

 “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love . . .” Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NIV)
The greatest love the parents can give their children is to love each other. It creates comfort and security and stability. Loving kindnesses is great role modeling and training on how relationships in marriage should be.

“Children are a gift from God.” Psalm 127:3 (LB)
Sometimes they are a gift you would like to exchange.
But gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

“I recommend having fun . . . That way you will experience some happiness
along with all the hard work God gives you.” Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NLT)

Playing board games together is a good way to connect with your children.
Interaction among family is deemed the favorite experience and memory children have.
Time with parents and grandparents doing fun things and being playful is most important.
Awesome families are playful and fun.
The average family is all work and no play... this needs to change.
Children always like to spend time with their family and have fun together.
Family is not "boot camp or a business or lab experiment",  There is no perfect child or family.
Children don't need stuff, they need your time and attention.


2. AWESOME FAMILIES LEARN & DEVELOP:
Like gardens families need to be nourished, cared for and attended to. Everybody needs to be encouraged to continue to grow.  When people stop growing they become boring.  Awesome families develop, learn, and take on new challenges.

“Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with man.”
Luke 2:52 (NIV)
We grow in 4 main areas:

1. Intellectually
2. Physically
3. Spiritually
4. Socially

What Do We Learn From Our Families?
Most of your problems arise because you did not correctly learn appropriate behaviors and skills from childhood.  We learn from our families how to deal with:

• Feelings: How to deal with how you feel.  Telling children to stop crying and expressing their emotions is toxic and creates problems in relationships later. Learning to name their emotions and identify the problems and how to resolve it.
• Conflict resolution. People who don't learn how to deal with conflict become a maniac or martyr.  Victim or Victimizer.  And they tend to marry each other.  One is a skunk (aggressor) One is a turtle (avoidance)
• How to handle loss and grieve.  There are lots of losses in life, big and small.  Nobody wins all the time.  Winning all the time is detrimental, because failure teaches us that we can survive and learn from it. Proverbs 24:16 "Even when good people fall seven times, they will get back up again."  Resilience is important.  The leaders in the world don't give up and keep trying. 
• What values matter most.  The world teaches values we don't agree with. The world teaches about vanity - everything is about money, pleasure, sex, beauty, praise.  Media is teaching children things that are false.
• There are 3 temptations: The pride of life, lust of eyes, lust of flesh.
  Summed up it is: how I feel, what I do, and what I get in life.
  Hedonism, Secularism, Materialism:   Advertisers appeal to these 3 areas to tempt us with their products.  Teach kids to recognize these false values & deception and guard against them.
• Good habits: Habits determine character. Manners make the man!

How to help your family grow:

• THROUGH PROPER ROLE MODELING:

 Jesus: “Since I have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet.
I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.”
John 13:14-15 (NLT)

Kids don't want to hear a sermon, they want to see it.

• THROUGH CONVERSATIONS & EDUCATION:

“You must teach God’s commandments to your children and talk about
them when you are at home or out for a walk; at bedtime and the first thing
in the morning.” Deuteronomy 6:7 (LB)
These are the teachable moments.  Take advantage of doing this regularly.

• NOT THROUGH HARSH CRITICISM :

“Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and
resentful. Instead bring them up with the loving training and teaching of the
Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Criticism, nagging, complaining never works.
It focuses on what you don't want, instead of what you do want.
You paint a picture of the wrong thing... instead of the right thing to do.
Criticism reinforces the negative and labels people, it makes people fail and give up, they feel they can't please you.
Promote the positive alternative: repentance - change.

• NOT THROUGH COMPARISONS:

“Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with
others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done.”
Galatians6:4 (NCV)

Everybody is unique and different, and incomparable.
You should NEVER compare anything or anybody.
Comparing is unhelpful, unfair, and lethal to relationships.

There are 2 kinds of pride: 
Comparison pride is wrong & bad & becomes sin.
Being proud of accomplishments and good is right.

3. AWESOME FAMILIES SUPPORTIVE & PROTECT EACH OTHER.
Matthew 5:45
"It rains on both the good and bad."  Everybody goes through storms in life.
When you go through a storm, you need protection and shelter.
Awesome families need to be a safe place to relax and
a refuge during tough times to escape and find peace.

The number one reason kids love their families, because they know their family takes care of them.

Change is a storm in life and can upset children especially.
Family needs to be around during times of change to help provide support.

Counseling is a good investment.  Coaching and advisors is helpful. Every pro hires somebody to provide the input, feedback and assistance to give them a new perspective and change.

Harmful ideas are bombarding our children.  18,000 hours of TV viewing and video games portray violence, sex and vulgar and harmful ideas.  Many kids are provided for, but not protected.  Parents need to watch what junk diet the kids are feeding on from electronics. Garbage in, garbage out. Bad parenting allows it.  We need to protect our children's mental health too.

“Two are better than one . . . If one of them falls down, the other can help
him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it’s just too bad, because there is
no one to help him.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (GN)

Rejection is a hard storm to go through.  Family needs to rally around and provide the affirmation and love and acceptance.  Sometimes just crying together - weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice.

Proverbs says a man who does not care for his own family is worse than an infidel.

4. AWESOME FAMILIES ARE LOVING, KIND, & HELPFUL & CARE ABOUT OTHERS:
Awesome families don't' just focus on themselves, but they care about others and serve God and others.  They teach their kids that they were made for a mission and shaped to serve God & others.
Hospitality is a great example to set for your children.  Treating everybody with respect and care.

Average families only care about themselves and are self centered.

“Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do
good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 (NCV)

5. AWESOME FAMILIES ARE DEVOTED TO GOD & EACH OTHER:

“He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; they gave generously to
those in need and prayed to God regularly.” Acts 10:2 (NIV)
Awesome families model generosity, service, care to others.
If children see you being kind and generous they will become kind and generous.
Teach children not to spend everything they get.  Teach to share, save and spend.
When they get something new... to share with others - it's an opportunity to pay it forward.

When you see a homeless person, treat them with dignity and respect.  Ask "what is your name?"
Give them something helpful like a bus pass or meal gift card or meal.

Children will see the way you treat others and care of the needy and learn how to treat strangers.
Do ministries together.  Missions are local and global - have bi-focal vision.
Cook & clean for people who are ill or injured.
Volunteer work abounds everywhere and it is what makes people great, by serving others.
It leaves a legacy of love and makes a good reputation

Awesome families are intentional. Making decisions, choices, sacrifices, commitments.  Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

Pray together and play together to stay together!
“Choose today whom you will serve . . . As for me and my family,
we will serve the Lord!” Joshua 24:15 (NLT)

Who are you serving?
Yourself?
Money?
Job?
House?
Your own family?

Decide to become awesome...
Serve God and Others together.

BECOMING BEST FRIENDS WITH GOD

BECOMING BEST FRIENDS WITH GOD

Awesome Relationships – Part 5

Rick Warren

November 29-30, 2014

GOD Wants your friendship!

Adam & Eve were created for a personal loving relationship 

with God and to live in a continual bond with God.  

Sin caused a break in the relationship with God.

“Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.”
James 4:8

David, Moses, Noah, Enoch, Job were called "Friends of God".
Guilt and fear caused most people to not have a close relationship with God.
-------------------------------------------------------
Jesus built a new bridge through the cross.
Now through his sacrifice direct access once available again without a priest or self sacrifices.
“We were restored to friendship with God by the death of his Son
while we were still his enemies, so we will certainly be delivered from
eternal punishment by his life. NOW we can rejoice in our
wonderful new relationship with God—all because of what our Lord
Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God!” Romans
5:10-11

How radical for the God of the universe, creator to call us His close, intimate friends.
Jesus:“I no longer call you servants... Instead, I call you my friends!”
John 15:15

"Friend": translated intimate, trusted, close, best friends in the inner circle.
Close friends enjoy direct access, confidentiality, and relaxation.
-------------------------------------------------------------
God becomes jealous when we put other things in our lives as a priority.
“. . . He is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you.”
Exodus 34:14

GOD: “I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your love; I don’t want
your offerings—I want you to know me!” Hosea 6:6 (LB)

“Starting from scratch, God made the entire human race and made the
earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so that we
could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but
actually find him!” Acts 17:26-27

God did not put you on this planet to just do and exist... it is to know and love God.
He orchestrated all the world so you could come to know Him and become His friend.
That is why HE sent Jesus to introduce us to Himself.
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HOW TO BUILD A FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD
1. Make knowing God my #1 Priority.
Seek first the Kingdom of God.... Make each day count for knowing and walking with Christ daily.
“Everything else is worthless compared with the priceless gain
of knowing Christ Jesus. I’ve discarded everything else, counting it
all as garbage, so that I may know Christ.” Philippians3:8 (NLT)

“You will find me when you seek me with ALL your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13
Are you seeking God with all your heart daily?
You are as close to God as you want to be.
If you feel God is far away... guess who moved?  Not God!

People brag about what is most important to them.
Jeremiah 9:23-24: Brag about knowing God...

WORRY means you do not know God.
You are acting like an atheist when you worry you don't trust God.

2. Slow down and be quiet & wait and listen to God.
 “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10a (NIV)

“Friendship with the Lord is reserved for those who reverence him.
With them he shares the secrets of his covenant.” Psalms 25:14

Friends spend time together.  
Close friends make time for each other.

“When you come before God, don’t turn it into a theatrical
production . . . Just find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be
tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and
honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God,
and you will begin to sense his grace.” Matthew6:5-6

3. Decide whose friendship you want most.  You don't have time for everybody, be selective.
“You should know that loving the world is the same as hating God.
Anyone who wants to be a friend of the ‘world’ becomes an enemy
of God.” James 4:4 (NCV)

1 Timothy 6:21: "Some people miss the most important things in life, they don't know God."

You are not a friend of God when you care about other things more.
Loving the world's value system, you will become the enemy of God.
God wants us to love people and use things... not use people and love things.
To be a friend of God, you need to care about what HE cares about.
Change your value system to be in alignment with God's values.

 Jesus:“You are my friends if you obey me.” John 15:9 - 14 (NLT)
We are friends of God, but we are not equal to God.
You can't say "I am a follower of Jesus, Christian, and live contrary to God's word and disobey God."
A friend obeys God, because He loves us.... not obedience out of guilt, duty, fear, obligation.

We have the freedom to make any choices good or bad.  But remember:
"Kicks can have a kick back."


4.Maintain a constant conversation with God.
“Pray all the time!” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Muslims pray 5 times a day.
Christians are expected to pray ALL the time ALL Day.

“My determined purpose is that I may know Him—that I may
progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with
Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of
His Person more strongly and more clearly.” Philippians3:10 (Amp)

5. Trust God in your pain.

The difference between an acquaintance and a friend 

is you talk with acquaintances, but you trust your friends.

Pain is the fuel of passion.  God allows pain to draw you closer to Him.  

The more honest you are with God the deeper and authentic your relationship with Him will be.

Come to God with your fears, faults, failures, relationships, etc. 

“Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; HE will
never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22
Bitterness is a cancer that will keep you from being close to God.

In Trouble? God offers His help!
“I’ll get you out of your trouble. And I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.” Psalm 91:14 (Mes)

Drifted Away From God?  God will restore you.
“If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve
me. If you speak words that are worthy, you will be my spokesman.
You are to influence them; do not let them influence you!”
Jeremiah 15:19 (NLT)Have others influenced you in the wrong way?  Return to God to be restored, God is not finished with you yet.  It doesn't matter where you have been, it matters where you are going.

“No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his
friends. And you are my friends IF you do what I command.”
John 15:13-14
“And this is what God commands: that we believe in his Son, Jesus
Christ, and that we love each other, just as he commanded.”
1 John 3:23 (NCV)

BUILDING A STRONG SPIRIT

Built Strong– Part 1

Rick Warren

January 3-4, 2015

“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources 

God will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit.” 

Ephesians 3:16 

AIM TO BE STRONGER:

• SPIRITUALLY
• HEALTH WISE
• FINANCIALLY
• RELATIONSHIPS

Ask yourself if you really want to be stronger than before?

You will only be as strong as you determine or intend to be.

It doesn't happen by accident.

You can continue being weak or average or you can become stronger.

You can determine how weak or strong you will be by your attitude and actions.

Sampson's story demonstrate the sources of weakness and strength.
He demonstrated tremendous both strength and tremendous weakness in his life.
Physically he was a powerhouse.  He was powerfully strong, handsome, successful, but one day he lost it all and became a broken and shattered man who became a failure.
Spiritually he was a wimp. He chose a lifestyle that sapped his spiritual strength.  He fell into 3 traps.
He woke up one day and all his strength was gone.
Learn to avoid these traps.
(Judges 14:1-20: Samson's story)

3 ATTITUDES THAT WEAKEN MY SPIRIT
3 HABITS THAT STRENGTHEN MY SPIRIT

John the Baptist was "strong in spirit". That is what we need to be!

3 Weakness  and traps that Samson displayed:

1.) He was self indulgent. He lived only for himself, his feelings and he was a womanizer. He lusted after a woman (Deliah) and based his decisions based on pleasure instead of principles, base upon convenience instead of conviction.

1. SELF INDULGENCE WEAKENS MY SPIRIT.
Excuses:
“Just this once.” "Just one more...""If it feels good, just do it."  "Obey your thirst".
"I deserve this...", "I owe it to myself." "I want to splurge!" "Eat, Drink, Be Merry... tomorrow we die."

If you were on a cruise ship and the captain announced there was a small leak, but don't worry just go ahead like nothing is wrong.  Any area that is a leak will weaken your spirit.

“Don’t be misled; remember that you can’t ignore God and get
away with it; a man will always reap just the kind of crop he sows!
If he sows to please his own wrong desires, he will be planting
seeds of evil and will surely reap a harvest of spiritual decay and
death.” Galatians 6:7-8 (LB)

TO BE STRONG, I MUST DISCIPLINE MY DESIRES
TO LIVE ACCORDING TO GOD'S DESIRES.
“Strengthen yourselves with (Christ’s) way of thinking . . .
Live your lives controlled by God’s will, not by human desires.”
1 Peter 4:1-2

Just because everybody is doing it, doesn't mean I must or need to do it too.

2. RESENTMENT & BLAME  WEAKENS MY SPIRIT.
(Judges 15:1-17) Excuse: “They hurt me first.”
“To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish,
senseless thing to do.” Job 5:2

The bible says anytime I hold a grudge or become resentful, I am a fool.
You only hurt yourself when you hold on to anger.
It is like swallowing poison and hoping it will hurt the person you are mad at.
It always hurts you more than it hurts somebody else.

Samson was continually angry, bitter, disappointed, enraged, he had a victim mentality and always wanted to seek revenge.  He always excused his behavior by blaming others and becoming resentful and bitter.  He never learned to forgive and manage his anger and let it go.

Bitterness and resentment zapped your spirit and reduces your ability to be loving and kind.
We are all vulnerable and get hurt in life by others.
You can't live in a broken world and not be hurt and harmed.

But how you respond matters.
You can react or respond.
To be strong in spirit I must control my reactions.
A person who uses self control is stronger.

“You are only hurting yourself with your anger!” Job 18:4
TO BE STRONG, I MUST USE SELF CONTROL.
“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself
under control.” Proverbs 29:11

3. CARELESSNESS WEAKENS MY SPIRIT.
(Judges 16:1-20) Excuse: “It will be different for me.”

“You will have to live with the consequences of everything you
say. (and do) ” Proverbs 18:20

Carelessness will weaken you and drain your strength.
If you are careless with your time, health, money, words, responsibilities, commitments, relationships it will harm you and put you in the wrong direction.

Samson made a Nazarite vow to live a holy life before God.  The symbols of commitment included:
You vow to be dedicated 100% to God.  Live differently.  Be above reproach and different from the culture. Sober. No alcohol.  Special diet. Never cut your hair.

Samson was careless about his vow. He made a vow, but compromised and did not keep his commitment.  He toyed with temptation and he cared more about playing close to the fire rather than being closer to God.

Many Christians will do the same thing... acknowledge they are a "Christian" but will wander and wonder how much they can get away without getting burned.

Deliah was hired to find & reveal Samson's secret to his strength to his enemies who wanted to destroy him. Samson was aware of the game she was playing.  He flirted with temptation and finally gave in.  He revealed his source of strength was really his vow to God (cutting hair was a symbol of that).

What are you flirting with that you know is wrong?
Cheating?  Deception?  Flirting?
You are setting yourself for failure and a fall.
You are believing the lies from Satan (the deceiver).

Nobody ever plans to fail.
Nobody ever plans to ruin their health, finances, marriage, family, relationships, etc.
But it is one little bad/wrong decision that increases to another bad choice and then a landslide.
Things start slipping then sliding and then all of the sudden there is a loss of reputation, credibility, finances, etc.
A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
What is the weakest link in your life?
If you are not sure... examine it and know what it is you need to work on.
You are only as strong as what you are committed to.
If you are chipping away at your commitment, you are becoming weaker and weaker.

When are you going to do something about it?
Today is the day.  Now is the time.
The solution is: Develop good habits to be strong.


TO BE STRONG, I MUST MAKE THE EFFORT TO BECOME SPIRITUAL HABITUALLY.
“Take the time and the trouble to keep yourself spiritually fit.”
1 Timothy 4:7 (Ph)

Habits build character.
Good habits = good character
Bad habits = bad character

3 HABITS THAT STRENGTHEN MY SPIRIT
 “Build up your strength in union with the Lord and by
means of his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10

God will empower us by being in unity with Him.

1. SPEND TIME WITH GOD EVERY DAY!
A Daily Quiet Time – for Bible reading and prayer

THE REASON: Guidance from God.
“Show me the path where I should go, O Lord;
point out the right road for me to walk.” Psalm 25:4

THE ROUTINE: Privacy with God
“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and
prayed.” Luke 5:16
Habitually Jesus spent solitude time with God - as it was His custom.

THE RESULT: Answers from God
“IF you remain in me and my words remain in you,
then you may ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it!”
John 15:7

2. FELLOWSHIP WITH BELIEVERS EVERY WEEK.
A Weekly Small Group – for fellowship with others

THE REASON: We are better together.
“Let us not give up the habit of meeting together…
Instead, let us encourage each other . . .” Hebrews 10:25

Like coals from a fire... alone it will quickly lose it's heat, grow weak and die.  But placed back into the fire with other coals it will become hot again and alive.

THE ROUTINE: Celebrate and worship together publicly and do life together personally.
“(They met) day after day, in the Temple courts (large group worship)
and from house to house (small group fellowship).” Acts 5:42
We need both to remain strong.

THE RESULT:Accountability and reliability are important.
“Two are better off than one, because together they are more
effective. If one falls down, the other can help him up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Everybody needs help at various times throughout life.

Who would you show up for if they had a crisis?
Does anybody know they can count on you?

3. GIVE TO GOD EVERY WEEKEND.
“Tithing” – Returning the first 10% of my income back to God

REASON: An act of worship
“Wherever your treasure is, your heart will be there.”
Matthew 6:21

“The purpose of tithing is to teach you to always put God first in
your life.” Deuteronomy 14:23 (LB)

THE ROUTINE: It's proportional according to God's blessing.
“On the first day of every week, set aside some of
what you have earned and give it as an offering. The amount
depends on how much the Lord has helped you earn.”
 1 Corinthians16:2 (LB)

THE RESULT: God's challenge - dare - God wins.
“Bring your whole tithe into My storehouse. Test me in this, says
the Lord, and see if I won’t throw open the floodgates of heaven
and pour out so much blessing that you won’t have enough room
for it!” Malachi 3:10

Do all of these good habits all year long and see how much stronger you are at the end of this new year.

• Daily time with God
• Weekly fellowship with God's people
• Weekend giving to God

Spiritual strength is not accidental.

It is a result of intentional choices and determination to form good habits to develop.

You can't do this on your own.

You need God's power.

Union with Christ will give you God's power in your life.

Get to know Christ to tap into this supernatural power and relationship.