HOW TO DEAL WITH HOW YOU FEEL

50 Days of Transformation – Part 4 (Emotional Health)

Rick Warren

February 15-16, 2014

Jesus said: “The most important commandment is this: You must love the Lord your God with ALL YOUR HEART, and all your SOUL, and all your MIND, and all your STRENGTH.”Mark 12:29-30 (NLT)

God wants an emotional passionate relationship with you that is full of feelings.
God has emotions. If God was not a God of Love, love would not exist. God created love and emtoions.
God has feelings: joy, grief, pain, frustration, anger.
My emotions are a gift from God. They are an asset in your life and make you human.
Even negative emotions have a role in your life.

UNDERSTAND MY EMOTIONS

You were made in God's image and He created emotions.

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness...’”Genesis 1:26 (NIV)

o Two extremes to avoid:

Emotionalism:

All that matters is how I feel. Doesn't matter what is right or wrong.
Everything I do is based upon my emotions and I am emtional person.

Stoicism:

Feelings are not important at all. The only things that matter are intellect and will.

Oddly stoic persons marry emotional persons.
Stuffers and gushers. And they get angry at each other for how they handle their emotions.

God gave you emotions and a mind for a reason.
Some folks religions are either emotional or stoic.
Both are wrong.

o God gave us

the book of Psalm

to understand our emotions.

Psalms has every emotion known to mankind in it.
Anger, Depression, Complaint, Sorrow, Argument, etc.

WHY I MUST LEARN TO MANAGE MY EMOTIONS

Learn how to heal if you have been emotionally damaged.

Managing your emotions will help you manage your life and succeed.

1. BECAUSE

My feelings are often unreliable. They can lead you in the wrong direction.

“There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death.”Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)

Your emotions and gut feelings are often wrong.
You don't have to believe you think, or accept everything you feel is reality or right.
Just because you feel it doesn't mean it is true.

2. BECAUSE

I don't want to be manipulated.

“Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings.”Proverbs 25:28 (NAB)

If you are always guided by feelings others will take advantage of you.
Sales persons and advertisers are trained to manipulate you by eliciting emotional responses.
Impulse buying is purchases you don't need or really want.
Unsafe to be ruled by emotions or without self control.
You become defenseless to your old nature and old moods and others who will exploit you.
Satan's favorite tool in your life is negative emotions: fear, resentment, jealousy, envy, worry, anxiety, shame, etc.
If you don't manage your emotions you will be victimized by Satan ... your enemy to destroy you.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

3. BECAUSE

I want to please God.

“To be controlled by human nature results in death; to be controlled by the Spirit results in life and peace . . . Those who obey their human nature cannot please God.”Romans 8:6-8 (TEV)

God can't rule my life if my emotions rule my life.
Base decisions on what God says instead of how you feel.

4. BECAUSE

I want to succeed in life.

“[People] get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self-control.”Proverbs 5:23 (CEV)

Manage your mood to succeed. If you don't you will fail.
Emotions are more important than intelligence for success.
People who manage and understand emotions are good in relationships and dealing with others.
People ruin their reputation or opportunities because of losing self control and letting their emotions rule them.
People get lost and die - they do not live fully.
When you give your life to Christ you give your emotions - He wants to be Lord over all of you.

“From now on you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God’s will and not by human desires.”1 Peter 4:2 (TEV)

Human desires are your emotions and affection and feelings.
Your life is to be controlled by God's will not how you feel.

HOW TO MANAGE AN UNWANTED FEELING

You must name the feeling. You can only control what you have identifed.

If you don't know what the problem is you can't work on it.

You are not as in touch with your emotions as you think you are.

How in touch with your feelings do you think you are?
Identify the emotions you felt recently.
If you can't name it, you can't change it.

ASK:

What am I really feeling?
What is making me feel __________ this way? Find the source of your feelings.
What are my triggers?
What triggered this?

If you can't talk about it, it is already out of control.

In talking it out, you will take it out on your body.

If you swallow your emotions, your stomach keeps score.

Emotions were meant to be shared.

Sometimes a trigger could be a sound, sight, smell, touch, that causes an emotional response.

You need to know these things.

You can't manage what you don't know.

I can't tame it until I name it. I can't solve a problem that I can't identify.

2.

Challenge it. Don't automatically accept it.

David often asked God to challenge his emotions.
God knows your triggers and understand you best.
Ask God to help you evaluate and understand yourself, your motives and affections.
Let close friends challenge your feelings... a true friend has permission to confront you with truth.

Elephaz asked Job: “Why has your heart carried you away, and why do your eyes flash?”

Job 15:12 (NIV)

Why do you become so angry?
Find a spiritual partner who will challenge your thinking.

ASK:

What is the real reason I am feeling this way?
Is it true?
Is what I am feeling a help or hindrance?
Does nagging work on you? Does it make you want to change or defensive and discouraged?

Do you get better service by getting angry? You may feel better to vent, but you will get the exact opposite of what you want.

In a crisis lower your voice, do not raise it.

Raising your voice will escalate the problem.

Tame it or change it. Make the change you want to make.

Change it or channel it.
Your attitude should be the same as how Jesus would feel.
What would Jesus do?
Dismiss any feeling that Jesus would dismiss. Respond as Jesus would.
Jesus would not be bitter, enraged, jealous, etc.

Channel negative emotions and use them for good.
If you are a victim - anger is a natural and justified response. Can your anger be used for good?
Yes, you can become a champion for justice and fairness.
When you use your anger for your benefit, that is selfishness... but when you use it for other's benefits, it is evidence of love.
Love gets angry - when it wants to protect and cares about preventing evil.
Use negative emotions in a positive way.

What do you do with blocked love?
Rechannel it.
Don't stew in your hurt, use it for good.
Love others.
137 million orphans in this world.
Use your pain to help others.
Don't waste hurts and pain.
What pain in your life are you using for good?
Your greatest ministry could come from your deepest pain.
It doesn't come out of your strengths and successes.

How do you tame a wild emotion?
Worry
Perfectionist
Laziness
Fear
Anxiety
Hot temper
Calm up / Martyr

Not by willpower... you won't succeed by your own strength... but by MY Spirit says the Lord.

o Everyday: Ask God to fill me with His Spirit. I need Your Spirit in my life.

“When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

Self control comes from God control.
The more God controls me the more self control I have over my mind and emotions.
That is a good thing! Life is so much better to be full of the fruit of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, etc.
What is inside of you comes out when pressure is on.
If you squeeze a bottle of shampoo - shampoo comes out.
What is inside will come out.
When I am filled with God's Spirit, you can handle anything.
If you are filled with yourself and hate, etc. it will come out under pressure.

o Everyday: ASK God to help me manage my mouth.

“Self-control means controlling the tongue!”Proverbs 13:3 (LB)

In a multitude of words there is sin.
Book of James addresses controlling our words.
Your tongue is like a tiny rudder on a big ship... What you say is where you will go.
When you say, "Lord help me to manage my mouth."

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord!”

Make God's word, my words.

What is inside your heart will come out of your mouth.

My heart is revealed in my words.

I need a heart transplant if I have an angry, bitter, proud, jealous, envious, impatient unloving heart. Ask God to change your heart and fill you with His Spirit.You will see miracles happen in your life.

"I have hidden your word in my heart, so I may not sin against you."Psalm 19:14 (NIV)

My Church Notes

Sunday, February 16, 2014