Facing Fears That Ruin Relationships: Part 5 of 50 Days of Transformation

FACING THE FEARS THAT 

RUIN RELATIONSHIPS 

50 Days of Transformation –Part 5 

Rick Warren 

February 22-23, 2014 

GENESIS 3:6-19 

“… so Eve ate some of the fruit. Then she also gave some to her husband, 

Adam, who was with her, and he ate it. 

 Immediately, their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at 

their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover up 

themselves. Then they heard the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of 

the day, and they hid from God among the trees. But God called out to 

Adam, ‘Where are you? ’ Adam replied, ‘I heard you coming and 

 I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’ 

 Then God asked, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten 

from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?’ 

 Adam said, ‘You gave me this woman and she gave me the fruit, so I ate 

it.’ Then God said to Eve, ‘Why did you to this?’ Eve replied, ‘The serpent 

deceived me, and I ate it.’ 

 … So God said to Eve, ‘(Because you disobeyed me) you’ll have greater 

trouble in pregnancy and great pain in childbirth. And though you’ll desire 

your husband, he’s going to lord it over you.’ 

 Then God said to Adam, ‘Because you also disobeyed me and sinned 

with your wife, the ground you work is now cursed. And though you’ll get 

to eat what you planted, your fields will have weeds, and thorns and 

thistles, and for the rest of your life you’ll have to sweat and work hard to 

get your food until you yourself are returned to the dirt that I used to 

create you. ’” 

Rick's fun commentary:

The problems began with the first relationship of Adam & Eve.

God didn't need us, but he wanted a family, that is why he created us to have relationship with him.

God realized it was not good for man to be alone. He made us for relationships.

God created man out of dirt - that's why men don't mind getting dirty.

God created women out of man... near his heart, to be loved by him.

When adam saw Eve, he said, "Whoa - Man!!! = Woman.

Eve was the only woman in the world for Adam... so they truly were each other's one and only love.

The middle letter of sIn and prIde is  "I". 

Satan tempted Eve and Adam by promising they could be as "God".

We always want to be in control of our own life... instead of trusting and obeying God.

Sin causes pain and hardship.  The curse included pain and work.

HOW OUR FEARS RUIN RELATIONSHIPS 

1. MY FEAR OF EXPOSURE MAKES ME DISTANT 
Why is it hard to get close to people and experience intimacy?
There are a lot of things you don't like or accept about yourself.
You will hide those flaws and failures and it will keep you hiding and aloof.
It is when we admit and accept ourselves and the problem as it is, then we can move forward.

“God called to Adam, ‘Why are you hiding?’ Adam said, ‘I was
afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’” Gen. 3:9-10 (LB/TEV)
 Fear always makes us hide and pretend.
What are you hiding? Fearful? 
You are as sick as your secrets.

Sin separates us from God.
“… they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness” vs. 7a (NLT)
 Shame is wrapped in fear and embarassment.
Shame makes me nervous, more self conscious, anxious, afraid of humiliation, afraid to take risks.

“So they sewed fig leaves to cover up themselves.” vs. 7b
 Sin makes us cover up.  To hide our wrongs.
People hide behind things - they pretend to be something they are not by their status symbols, clothes, etc.

What ways do you use to cover up?
Humor - is a tool to keep people at a distance.
Image - facade to appear on the outside what lacks on the inside.  Many hide behind an online image .

 “Then they hid from God among the trees.” vs. 8
Distance from God.
God does not expect us to be perfect.  But He does expect us to be honest.

2. MY FEAR OF DISAPPROVAL MAKES ME DEFENSIVE 
“God asked, ‘Did you eat … what I told you not to eat?’ Adam
answered, ‘YOU gave me this woman and SHE gave me the fruit!’
 Gen. 3:11-12

Every relationship experiences this because of our fears.

Criticism causes defensiveness, because we are afraid of rejection.

We change from hiding to hurling stones at others.

Excusing to accusing.

“Then Eve said, ‘The SNAKE tricked me into eating!’” Gen. 3:13
(TEV)
3. MY FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL MAKES ME DEMANDING
The result of their sin:

“… You’ll have yearning for your husband, but he will lord it over
you…” vs. 16 (NJB) “… he will dominate you …” (Ber)

3. MY FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL MAKES ME DEMANDING
Battles results.
The more out of control you feel, the more controlling you become.
Bullies are the most insecure people.  They are deeply frightened so they put on a persona of "macho, bad boy, tough guy".

THE ANTIDOTE: LEARN TO LIVE IN GOD’S LOVE
“Wherever God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect
love drives out all fear.” 1 John 4:18a (NCV)

When you fully experience God's love it drives out fear.

“It is the thought of punishment (negative consequences) that
makes a person fearful.” 1 John 4:18b (NCV)

1. EVERYDAY SURRENDER MY HEART TO GOD
“Surrender your heart to God, turn to him in prayer, and give up
your sins— even those you do in secret. Then you won't be
ashamed; you will be confident and fearless. Your troubles will
go away like water beneath a bridge, and your darkest night will
be brighter than noon. Then you’ll rest safe and secure, filled
with hope and emptied of worry!” Job 11:13-18 (CEV)

2. EVERYDAY REMEMBER THE WAY GOD LOVES ME

o I’M COMPLETELY ACCEPTED
 “Jesus made us acceptable to God.” Titus 3:7 (CEV)

o I’M UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED
 “M y love for you will never end says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:10

o I’M TOTALLY FORGIVEN
 “There is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus!” Rom. 8:1

o I’M CONSIDERED EXTREMELY VALUABLE
 “You’ve been bought and paid for by Christ’s death.” 1 Cor. 7:23

3. EVERYDAY OFFER THAT SAME LOVE TO OTHERS
“Accept one another just as Christ accepted you.” Rom. 15:7

 “Love never stops being patient,
 Love never stops believing,
 Love never stops hoping,
 Love never give up!”
 1 Cor. 13:7 (GW)

This is real love.... this is how to be a great lover - Love others as GOD loves you!
Love extends grace.  God is so gracious with you, be more gracious and kind towards others.
Love expresses faith.  You believe in God. God believes in you.  You accepted Christ.  Christ accepted you.
Love never stops believing.
Love expects the best.  It never stops hoping.  Even in discouragement you still expect the best.
Love endures the worst, it never gives up.
Real love casts out all fear.
It removes distance, defensiveness, desire to demand and dominate.

How to deal with how you feel. 50 Days of Transformation part 4

HOW TO DEAL WITH HOW YOU FEEL

50 Days of Transformation – Part 4 (Emotional Health)

Rick Warren

February 15-16, 2014

Jesus said: “The most important commandment is this: You must love the Lord your God with ALL YOUR HEART, and all your SOUL, and all your MIND, and all your STRENGTH.”Mark 12:29-30 (NLT)

God wants an emotional passionate relationship with you that is full of feelings.
God has emotions.  If God was not a God of Love, love would not exist. God created love and emtoions.
God has feelings: joy, grief, pain, frustration, anger.
My emotions are a gift from God. They are an asset in your life and make you human.
Even negative emotions have a role in your life.

UNDERSTAND MY EMOTIONS

You were made in God's image and He created emotions.

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness...’”Genesis 1:26 (NIV)

o Two extremes to avoid:

Emotionalism:

All that matters is how I feel. Doesn't matter what is right or wrong.

Everything I do is based upon my emotions and I am emtional person.

Stoicism:

Feelings are not important at all.  The only things that matter are intellect and will.

Oddly stoic persons marry emotional persons.
 Stuffers and gushers.  And they get angry at each other for how they handle their emotions.

God gave you emotions and a mind for a reason.
Some folks religions are either emotional or stoic.
Both are wrong.

o God gave us

 the book of Psalm

to understand our emotions.

Psalms has every emotion known to mankind in it.
Anger, Depression, Complaint, Sorrow, Argument, etc.

WHY I MUST LEARN TO MANAGE MY EMOTIONS

Learn how to heal if you have been emotionally damaged.

Managing your emotions will help you manage your life and succeed.

1. BECAUSE

 My feelings are often unreliable. They can lead you in the wrong direction.

“There is a way that SEEMS right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death.”Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)

Your emotions and gut feelings are often wrong.
You don't have to believe you think, or accept everything you feel is reality or right.
Just because you feel it doesn't mean it is true.

2. BECAUSE

 I don't want to be manipulated.

“Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings.”Proverbs 25:28 (NAB)

If you are always guided by feelings others will take advantage of you.
Sales persons and advertisers are trained to manipulate you by eliciting emotional responses.
Impulse buying is purchases you don't need or really want.
Unsafe to be ruled by emotions or without self control.
You become defenseless to your old nature and old moods and others who will exploit you.
Satan's favorite tool in your life is negative emotions: fear, resentment, jealousy, envy, worry, anxiety, shame, etc.
If you don't manage your emotions you will be victimized by Satan ... your enemy to destroy you.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

3. BECAUSE

 I want to please God.

“To be controlled by human nature results in death; to be controlled by the Spirit results in life and peace . . . Those who obey their human nature cannot please God.”Romans 8:6-8 (TEV)

God can't rule my life if my emotions rule my life.
Base decisions on what God says instead of how you feel.

4. BECAUSE

 I want to succeed in life.

“[People] get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self-control.”Proverbs 5:23 (CEV)

Manage your mood to succeed.  If you don't you will fail.
Emotions are more important than intelligence for success.
People who manage and understand emotions are good in relationships and dealing with others.
People ruin their reputation or opportunities because of losing self control and letting their emotions rule them.
People get lost and die - they do not live fully.
When you give your life to Christ you give your emotions - He wants to be Lord over all of you.

“From now on you must live the rest of your earthly lives controlled by God’s will and not by human desires.”1 Peter 4:2 (TEV)

Human desires are your emotions and affection and feelings.
Your life is to be controlled by God's will not how you feel.

HOW TO MANAGE AN UNWANTED FEELING

1.

You must name the feeling.  You can only control what you have identifed.

If you don't know what the problem is you can't work on it.

You are not as in touch with your emotions as you think you are.

How in touch with your feelings do you think you are?
Identify the emotions you felt recently.
If you can't name it, you can't change it.

ASK:

1. What am I really feeling?  
2. What is making me feel __________ this way?  Find the source of your feelings.
3. What are my triggers?  
4. What triggered this?

If you can't talk about it, it is already out of control. 

In talking it out, you will take it out on your body.

If you swallow your emotions, your stomach keeps score.

Emotions were meant to be shared.

Sometimes a trigger could be a sound, sight, smell, touch, that causes an emotional response.

You need to know these things.

You can't manage what you don't know.

I can't tame it until I name it.  I can't solve a problem that I can't identify.


2.

Challenge it.  Don't automatically accept it.

David often asked God to challenge his emotions.
God knows your triggers and understand you best.
Ask God to help you evaluate and understand yourself, your motives and affections.
Let close friends challenge your feelings... a true friend has permission to confront you with truth.

Elephaz asked Job: “Why has your heart carried you away, and why do your eyes flash?”

Job 15:12 (NIV)

Why do you become so angry?
Find a spiritual partner who will challenge your thinking.

 ASK:

1. What is the real reason I am feeling this way?  
2. Is it true?
3. Is what I am feeling a help or hindrance?
4. Does nagging work on you?  Does it make you want to change or defensive and discouraged?

Do you get better service by getting angry?  You may feel better to vent, but you will get the exact opposite of what you want.

In a crisis lower your voice, do not raise it.

Raising your voice will escalate the problem.

3.

Tame it or change it.  Make the change you want to make.

Change it or channel it.
Your attitude should be the same as how Jesus would feel.
What would Jesus do?
Dismiss any feeling that Jesus would dismiss.  Respond as Jesus would.
Jesus would not be bitter, enraged, jealous, etc.

Channel negative emotions and use them for good.
If you are a victim - anger is a natural and justified response. Can your anger be used for good?
Yes, you can become a champion for justice and fairness.
When you use your anger for your benefit, that is selfishness... but when you use it for other's benefits, it is evidence of love.
Love gets angry - when it wants to protect and cares about preventing evil.
Use negative emotions in a positive way.

What do you do with blocked love?
Rechannel it.
Don't stew in your hurt, use it for good.
Love others.
137 million orphans in this world.
Use your pain to help others.
Don't waste hurts and pain.
What pain in your life are you using for good?
Your greatest ministry could come from your deepest pain.
It doesn't come out of your strengths and successes.

How do you tame a wild emotion?
Worry
Perfectionist
Laziness
Fear
Anxiety
Hot temper
Calm up / Martyr

Not by willpower... you won't succeed by your own strength... but by MY Spirit says the Lord.

o Everyday: Ask God to fill me with His Spirit. I need Your Spirit in my life.

“When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

Self control comes from God control.
The more God controls me the more self control I have over my mind and emotions.
That is a good thing!  Life is so much better to be full of the fruit of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, etc.
What is inside of you comes out when pressure is on.
If you squeeze a bottle of shampoo - shampoo comes out.
What is inside will come out.
When I am filled with God's Spirit, you can handle anything.
If you are filled with yourself and hate, etc. it will come out under pressure. 

o Everyday: ASK God to help me manage my mouth.

“Self-control means controlling the tongue!”Proverbs 13:3 (LB)

In a multitude of words there is sin.
Book of James addresses controlling our words.
Your tongue is like a tiny rudder on a big ship... What you say is where you will go.
When you say, "Lord help me to manage my mouth."

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord!”

Make God's word, my words.

What is inside your heart will come out of your mouth.

My heart is revealed in my words.

I need a heart transplant if I have an angry, bitter, proud, jealous, envious, impatient unloving heart.  Ask God to change your heart and fill you with His Spirit.You will see miracles happen in your life.

"I have hidden your word in my heart, so I may not sin against you."Psalm 19:14 (NIV)

YOUR SMALL GROUP THIS WEEK

“How to Heal Your Damaged Emotions”

Change Your Life By Changing Your Mind 50 Days of Transformation

Change Your Life By Changing Your Mind 

Mental Health

50 Days of Transformation – Part 3

Rick Warren 

February 8-9, 2014 

http://www.saddleback.com/mc/Archives/

“Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but let God 

transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” 

 Romans 12:2 (NLT) 

God is more concerned about changing your mind, rather than changing your circumstances.

Nothing happens in your life, no change takes place in your life until your thoughts change.

WHY I MUST MANAGE MY MIND 

BECAUSE: My thoughts control my life.

 “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” 

 Proverbs 4:23 (TEV) 

If you don't think it, you don't do it.

We are always interested in our feelings, but feelings don't shape your life, your beliefs do.

You are taught things about yourself that is not true and you behave accordingly.

 BECAUSE: My mind is the battleground for sin.

All temptation happens in your mind first before sin results.

Learn how to manage your mind, learn how to manage your life!

“I love to do God’s will so far as my new nature is concerned; but there’s 

something else deep within me that is at war with my mind and wins the 

fight and makes me a slave to the sin within me. In my mind I want to be 

God’s servant, but instead I find myself still enslaved to sin.” 

 Romans 7:22-23 (LB) 

It is such an intense battle, because your brain is your greatest asset.

Whatever gets your attention gets you.

The world and Satan wants to rule your mind.

BECAUSE Managing my mind is the key to peace and happiness.

An unmanaged mind leads to tension, stress, conflict, chaos, weakness.

Managed mind leads to tranquility, peace, confidence, security, serenity, strength.

 “If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. 

But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace.” Romans 8:6 (NLT) 

3 DAILY CHOICES FOR A HEALTHY MIND 

Only you can control your thoughts!

Satan or others can't control your thoughts.

God is not going to control your thoughts.

Change the channel.

Make choices.

1. I MUST FEED MY MIND WITH TRUTH.

Good nutrition causes strength and energy and bring vitality. 

This is also true with your thought life.

Feed your mind with goodness not junk.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set your free.

 “People need more than bread for their life; they must feed on every 

 WORD OF GOD.” Matthew 4:4 (NLT) 

The best leaders make the best decisions based upon the best information.

You must have the best information to live the best life and that is God's Word.

The Bible is our soul food and manual for life.

There are over 700,000 promises in God's Word.

WHEN?All the time, Morning, Noon, and Night feed upon God's Word.

 “I rise early . . . to cry out for help and to put my hope in your words.” 

 Psalm 119:147 (NLT) 

Start each day with hope instead of despair.

 “Lord, how I love your Word. I think about it all day long.” Psalm 119:97 

 “Even in the darkest of night, your teachings fill my mind.” Psalm 16:7 (CEV) 

David was a man after God's own heart, because he sought God and His Word continually.

"When wicked people hide and seek to ambush and kill me, I quietly keep my mind on your decrees." Psalm 119:95

David kept his mind on God's truth inspite of danger.

2. I MUST FREE MY MIND FROM DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS.

Your mind needs to be released and delivered, because you are a prisioner of your own thoughts and what others may have told you that are not true. Because you always act according to how you perceive yourself and what you think others think about you.

This will set you free from your good intentions that are battling in your brain. 

You will have to fight to free your mind.

The 3 areas that are enemies you must fight are:

1. My old sin nature. 

Romans 7:23 - "I see in my body a principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells inside me."

When you find yourself doing things you really don't wish to do: self defeating behavior.  This is the battle in your brain, when you have the best intentions.  Your old sin nature is your old bad habits.

2. SATAN: 

Wants to control your mind.  He can't.  He can't force you to do anything. Greater is HE who is in me than he who is in the world... But he can plant seeds of negative thoughts in your mind and use others & things (TV, PC, etc.) to pull you astray. You can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from pooping in your hair or building a nest on your head. You think a lot of thoughts that are not true. You do not have to believe everything you think. This is a liberating thought!   This is the path to mental health.

 “Those who are dominated by their sinful nature think about sinful things, 

 but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that 

 please the Spirit.” Romans 8:5 (NLT) 

 “Though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 

 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. [Our 

 weapons] have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish any 

 argument and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge 

 of God, and we TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT to make it OBEDIENT 

 to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 

If you don't wake up and meet the devil face on, then you will just be going in the same direction.  So guard your heart and mind!  

When the devil gives a thought we call it temptation, when God gives a thought we call it inspiration, when we come up with our thoughts we call that stupidity.

2Corinthians 2:11 "I have forgiven that man, so Satan won't outsmart us. For we are very familiar with his evil schemes."

Satan wants to keep you in unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment. 

Anytime you refuse to forgive you fall into Satan's trap.

3. THE WORLD's VALUE SYSTEM

All that is in the world, passion, possession, position, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, the pride of life (money, sex, power) is not of the Father, it is of the world.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 

"Though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world.  Our weapons have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish any argument and every pretensions that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Spiritual Strongholds are lies we believe.

Examples:

God doesn't really love me.

I know better than God what will make me happy.

False value systems such as hedonism: pleasure, materialism: things/money.

Attitudes - unforgiveness, depression, self pity, etc.

If you want to be mentally healthy you must demolish every stronghold.

Jesus wants us to know the way, the truth and life and be set free.

Satan wants to destroy us with lies.

We take captive and conquer every thought and make it obedient.

Bring into submission every thought to Christ.

When I need to pray, my mind drifts away.

When I need to ponder, my mind will wonder.

How do you make your mind - mind you?

You must use your will to bring your mind into order.

The reason most people fail and do not enjoy life is because they never learned to win the battle of their mind.

HOW TEMPTATION WORKS 

 “Temptation comes from the lure of OUR OWN evil desires. 

These evil desires lead to evil actions, and then the evil actions lead to death.” 

 James 1:14-15 (NLT) 

 Step 1: Desire - 

It always begins in your mind with a natural desire. 

It becomes more important anything else and uncontrolled.

If you don't have a desire, it is not a temptation. 

Smoking won't send you to hell, but it will make you smell like you have been there.  

All misused and abused desires will become destructive.

 Step 2: Doubt – “Did God really say...?” 

What tend to always doubt 2 things: God's love and God's Word.

Adam and Eve are in perfect paradise, no clothes and no kids... but they believed the lies of Satan and doubted God's love and word.

Everytime you get into a temptation you believe you know better and doubt God.

 Step 3: Deception – Believing a lie of Satan 

Satan replaces God's truth with his lie.

Satan lures us with our own evil desires.... bait depends upon the fish's attraction.

Ask yourself: "What kind of bait would Satan use on you to hook you?"

We know there is a hook, yet we still keep nibbling.  Flirting with temptation is foolish.

Lures are flashy, sparkles, appealing - but it is deceptive and leads to destruction.

Las Vegas should be called "Lost Wages". 

 Step 4: Disobedience & Defeat: Sin

My intention becomes my attitude which becomes my action begins in the battle of my mind.

What I flirt with I will fall for.

It could be simply a cupcake.

The moment you make the choice  to misbehave you will suffer the consequences.

The best time to win the battle is beforehand.

 “I have made up my mind to obey your laws forever, no matter what.” 

 Psalm 119:112 (CEV) 

 I must feed my mind constantly on truth not garbage.

I must free my mind from lies.

I must focus my mind on the right things.

I MUST THINK ABOUT JESUS

 “Keep your mind on Jesus Christ . . .” 2 Timothy 2:8 (CEV) 

 “Think about Jesus’ example. He held on while wicked people were doing 

 evil things to him. So do not get tired and stop trying.” Hebrews 12:3 (NCV) 

THINK ABOUT OTHERS

 “Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, 

 and in what they are doing.” Philippians 2:4 (LB) 

 “Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do 

 good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 (NCV) 

This is counter culture.  The world teaches to focus on yourself.

Look out for number one.  It's all about me.

It is not about you!

 It is only when you give your life away will you realize your purpose.

Small groups are the place to begin to learn to become unselfish.

THINK ABOUT ETERNITY

 “Let heaven fill your thoughts. 

Do not think only about things down here 

 on earth.” Colossians 3:2 (NLT) 

 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what 

 God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NLT) 

Look at all the nit picky insignificant problems that take up so much of attention and ruin our lives in comparison to all the pleasant things God has prepared for us to enjoy now and forever.

"He is so heavenly minded he is no earthly good"... is not true. 

Those who are most heavenly minded throughout history 

have done the most good on earth for good.

I must feed my mind on truth daily.

I must free my mind from destructive thoughts, choose not to think them and change my mind.

I must focus on the right thing so I don't have time to pay attention to wrong.

Change your attention - you are no longer tempted.

PRAYER

Father, 

You gave us our minds. 

You made us in your image.

The greatest gift you have given to us is the gift of intellect.

We realize it is our greatest asset and yet the greatest battleground.

The world, the flesh, the devil all team up to thwart our best intentions.

God, help me to put into practice what I just learned.

Help me to make these healthy choices daily.

I want to feed my mind the truth all the time.

I want to free my mind from destructive thoughts.

Take every thought captive, obey Christ and not run wild.

Help me to be wise to temptations realize when desires turn into doubt, deception and disobedience.

God, today I will make up my mind to obey your Word no matter what.

Help me to think about Jesus, others and eternity everyday.

In Your name I pray.  Amen.

50 Days of Transformation From Stressed To Blessed

FROM STRESSED TO BLESSED

50 Days of Transformation - Part 2 (Physical Health)

Rick Warren 

February 1-2, 2014 

 “Peace of mind makes the body healthy.” Proverbs 14:30 (TEV)
 “A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life.” Proverbs 14:30 (NLT)

 Sometimes it is not what you eat, it is what eats you that messes you up.
You are far more complex than what you eat, or the activity level you keep.
Doctors say if more patients would handle their stress, guilt and resentment, they would not fill the hospitals beds as much.
Stress can drain the life out of you.
Stress harms health.

FOCUS on the focus!

Proverbs 13:30
"Peace of mind makes the body healthy."
"A relaxed attitude can lengthen one's life."

Figure out how to lower the stress and tension and increase the peace of mind and relaxation.

Research shows these are major areas of stress:

1. Worry
2. Work
3. Money
4. Problems
5. Relationships
6. Indecision
7. Loss
8. Opposition
9. Fear

7 SPIRITUAL HABITS THAT REDUCE STRESS
PSALM 23 (These 6 verses are the antidote to stress)

1.Habit: Look to God for all my needs.  
Affirmation: I will trust God to meet all my needs.
 “The Lord is my shepherd, so I have all I need.” Psalm 23:1

 “Since God did not spare even his own Son for us but gave him up
 for us, won’t he also surely give us everything else we need?”
 Romans 8:32 (LB)

Stress happens when I look to others to meet my needs instead of God.
That person has limitations and  will fail then I will be disappointed and frustrated.
Worry is the warning sign that I stopped looking to the Lord to meet my needs.
God can meet all my needs, since HE has all the resources!
Jesus said he can meet all our needs according to His riches in glory.

There is nothing too difficult for God.  All your needs are the same to Him.
You matter to God, since He sent His son Jesus to die for you, your life is important.
Stress reduction begins with God.

Isaiah 30:15
"The Sovereign Lord says, 'Only in returning to Me and waiting for Me, then you will be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength."
Not worry, stress, pressure, etc.
Trust God to meet every need.

2. Habit:I need to obey God's instructions about rest.
Affirmation: I will take one day a week to rest and worship. .
I trust God by resting
 “He makes me lie down . . .” Psalm 23:2a

 “Six days are set aside for work, but every seventh day you must rest
 completely, even during your seasons of plowing and harvest, you
 must observe a Sabbath day of rest.” Exodus 34:21
 
Most of our stress comes from over working.
We worry about keeping up and are insecure about our future.
We all violate this command by the pace of our life and to do lists.

God could have created us to not need sleep.
We spend 1/3 of our lives asleep.
God wired us to require sleep.
God rested on the 7th day and he set the example for all of us.
Jesus said, "Man was not made for the Sabbath, rather the Sabbath was made for man."
The day of rest is for our benefit to restore our health.

Every time you don't rest and worship, you violate the 10 commandments which is right up there with murder and adultery, etc.

 If you don't take time off, your exhausted body will make time off.
Sometimes God makes you lay flat on your back to look up.
My best requires rest.

Exodus 34:21 "Six days are for work, but every seventh day you must rest completely..even in your busy season..you must observe a Sabbath day of rest."

 “You’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble,
 reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst;
 the beautiful, not the ugly.” Philippians 4:8 (Mes)

 During the French Revolution they abolished the Sabbath.  Then a few years later they restored it since the health of the nation was burned out.

Jesus took breaks and retreats with and without his followers.
Take time apart or your will come apart.

The devil doesn't take time off, if I didn't I become like a devil.

On Your Sabbath Day:

1.  Rest my body
2. Refocus my spirit - worship, fellowship, confess, pray
3. Recharge my emotions

3.Habit: I recharge my soul with beauty.
Affirmation: Beauty increases my health.

 “He makes me lie down in lush green meadows and leads me 
 beside calm, quiet waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3a 

Just thinking about beautiful scenes is refreshing and relaxing.
Man was made to live in a garden.
No wonder you feel closer to God in nature. God created it.
You recharge your soul with the beauty in music, nature, art.
Music and art is the greatest argument against evolution because there is no purpose in it except to satisfy our souls.
More music, art, books have been written about God than any other subject.
You are more like your Creator when you are creative.
Fill your minds with anything true, noble, repuatable, compelling, the best, beautiful, etc.

Because of sin there is alot of evil and brokeness in the world.
The more reasons to add beauty to our lives.

Whatever you give your attention to will determine the level of stress in your life.
If you focus on the media it will create stress and adversarial topics is the hot topics to drive audiences.
If it bleeds it leads in the media.
Start your day with worship, not the media/news.

Go outside daily and walk, enjoy the outdoors.
Take up art or music.
Music and art are stress relievers and add beauty to your life.

4. Habit: Go to God for guidance. 
Affirmation: I will seek God first for all my decisions and what I need to do.
I trust God to guide me. 
 “He guides me in the right paths for his name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3 

Indecision paralyzes you.
A double minded person is unstable in all their ways.
James 1: Says God will give you wisdom and guidance when you ask, pray, read God's word and wait.

God will guide me at the right time.
It may not be now.
God is never early nor late.
His timing is perfect.
Say: "Lord willing... I will do ____"

 5. Trust God in dark valleys.
Loss causes stress
Grief helps you recover.
If you don't grieve you get stuck at that stage emotionally, because you stuffed it.
Fear is not a good thing. 365 times the Bible says "Fear not!"  Because fear paralyzes you.

 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
 I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff 
 comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 

The shadow is always bigger than the source.
Wherever there is a shadow there is light.
Turn your back on the shadow and gaze upon the light.
Whatever is scaring you - turn your back on that shadow and look upon Jesus, the light of the world.

The rod and staff are tools of the shepherd
to guide and protect the sheep.
You can trust Him in the shadows and valleys.

 “When I am ready to give up, he knows what I should do.”
 Psalm 142:3 (TEV)

 6.Habit: God is my defender.
Affirmation: 
 “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, 
 and you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5 

Conflict and opposition causes stress in your life.
Nit picking, critical, negative people can discourage you.
This makes you doubt yourself.
Satan is the accuser... it is from the pit of hell.

Critics are the least important people in your life.
Little people belittle people.  They reveal the smallness of their dark hearts.
Great people make you feel great!

It takes a lot of faith and humility to rest in God instead of taking matters into your own hands.
You are more like Christ when you do not retaliate.  Jesus remained silent when he stood falsely accused to be killed on the cross.

 “How I love you, Lord! You are my defender, my protector, and my strong 
 fortress. In you I am safe. You protect me like a shield.” Psalm 18:1-2 
 King David, while running for his life from his enemies.

When you focus on God as your defender and your stress will diminish and your joy will increase.
The bible says to refuse to criticize, talk back God pours more grace and anointing and power into you.
Decide: Would I rather get even or get power?  Would I rather be right or win?
God often blesses people you don't even like.

7.Habit: I expect God to finish what He starts in me.
Affirmation: God is in control. Ultimately everything will work out for His purpose.
 “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, 
 and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6 

Some folks are passive or active.  Both must learn to rest, trust God. Some are "what if??? people".

Jesus: “COME to me, all you that are weary and are carrying 
heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. TAKE my yoke upon you, 
 and LEARN from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you 
 will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 
 Matthew 11:28-30 (RSV) 

 When I’m “yoked” with Christ, we move together in the same direction and at the same speed.

Cross beam for 2 to pull a load together, not alone.
The purpose of the yoke is to relieve my stress and help pull you through it so it is lighter.
Take His yoke and learn from Jesus.
Slow me down Lord.

Write down at least 3 goals.  Consider including keeping a Sabbath day of rest and worship once a week.

"Slow Me Down Lord"

Slow me down,Lord!

Ease the pounding of my heart

By the quieting of my mind.

Steady my harried pace

With a vision of the eternal reach of time.

Give me, admidst the confusions of my day,

The calmness of the everlasting hills.

Break the tensions of my nerves

With the soothing music of the sighing streams

That live in my memory.

Help me to know

The magical restoring power of sleep.

Teach me the art

Of taking minute vacations of slowing down to look at a flower;

To chat with an old friend or to make a new one;

To pat a stray dog,

To watch a spider spin a web;

To smile at a child;

Or to read a few lines from a good book.

Remind me each day

That the race is not always to the swift;

That there is more to life than increasing its speed.

Let me look upward

Into the branches of the towering oak

And know that it grew slowly and well.

Slow me down, Lord,

And inspire me to send my roots deep

Into the soil of life’s enduring values

That I may grow toward the stars

Of my great destiny.

Wilferd A. Peterson

THIS WEEK IN YOUR SMALL GROUP:
Six Reasons Your Health Matters To God